It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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