She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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