awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Shame - the story of my life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
