it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
