dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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