yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
