I'm going to jail i love you
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
