this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
