the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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