btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
