the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
