idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
