now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
