Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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