I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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