You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
