I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
