There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
