i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
