I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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