it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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