she smelled like a LAN party
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
