Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
