I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize