yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
