Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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