Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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