you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
