i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
