hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
