Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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