Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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