ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
