Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
