I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize