i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
