Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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