If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
