dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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