Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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