our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
