There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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