Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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