Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I pour the whiskey from now on
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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