none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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