Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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