:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
