Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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