well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
