tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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