those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Even my vagina gasped.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize