It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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