I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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