I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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