I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
