ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
