oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
