i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
