The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
