bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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