rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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