kristin has been a bad kristin
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
