I have demons in me.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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