I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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