Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
