It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
