i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize