i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
