Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
