I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
