i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
