I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
