Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize